Nothing is more crippling to your mojo than being stuck in your man cave with zero female options on your roster. As you aimlessly scroll through your phone, considering candidates from your past, you decide on excuses to strike up a conversation with old flames. In other cases, you may consider being an online creeper; you suddenly find yourself contacting random girls on social media. That, my man, is when you know you’ve hit rock bottom. Like a hungry lion roaming for food scraps, you suddenly realize you’re the loser of the forest.
So what’s a guy to do when he’s ready to date but his options are lacking? It’s time to revamp your life and routines to maximize your dating potential. Start by considering your current strategies, habits, social circles or whatever other goodie bags you’ve got, and evaluate whether they’re making you more or less attractive. If you want to build more charisma and magnetism around your life and draw in more women, you’ve got to put in some work to make yourself more sellable.
Take more risks
Are you a risk taker? It takes real gusto and self-belief to smoothly strut up to a woman, in a completely effortless manner, and strike up casual flirtation. And we’re not talking about the drunken clowns who waltz up to a lady, half knowing they’ll be rejected, only to bother her and then walk shamefully back to their wolf pack. We’re talking about the man who boldly confronts a woman, putting self-doubt aside, and takes a chance. It may feel uncomfortable but then again, any lion who plays on the safe side will never come out on top of the pack.
You should be able to approach women anywhere, anytime– bus stops, library, coffee lines, bookstore, gas station– anywhere!
Afraid you’ll come across creepy? Then you will! Instead, you need to treat these little rendezvous as calmly and casually as when you’re ordering a Big Mac Meal at a McDonald’s drive-through. Over time, these encounters will become less intimidating and you’ll give each of them less forethought. And yes, there’s always a good chance you’ll get rejected. But the odds are much lower when you stop letting every opportunity pass you by.
Be active in your love life; there’s always an excuse to talk to a woman. Here are just a few example scenarios:
You: Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice– your shoes are exactly the style I’ve been searching for to buy my sister. Where did you get them?
If she seems responsive, follow up with:
You seem to have good taste– got time to help me pick something out?
You: Excuse me, I have to let you know–you’re the only woman in here who looks classy– let me buy you a Cosmo.
This approach is slightly metro, but if you say it with conviction, she’ll love earning your attention. You can exchange the compliment for subtle things like her hair or handbag–make sure to choose something specific, so she can feel special to you. At the end of the compliment, you will show bravado by insisting on buying her a Cosmo instead of asking for her favorite drink. Here, you’re in control, while also showing that you know what women like.
(To the cute lady standing in front of you)
You: “Hey! You copied my drink order!”
You will then proceed to order the exact same drink. She will likely find you funny and possibly flirt back.
Dress like a man and Become The Lion
Your image suggests a lot about your status, success, and integrity. So, if you’re still trying to rock sports jerseys and high-top sneakers, you may feel fun and flashy, but you’ll also come across as a corny man-boy. Ladies will pass on you! It’s as if you’re a lost and hungry lion cub, sprouting some barely-there mane, trying to look tough around the lovely lionesses. You may attract some flies, but your pheromones won’t be hitting anyone’s radar.
Don’t look immature
For a worthy woman to take you seriously, you need to play the part. This means you may need to raise your styling choices up a few notches on the maturity scale. Yet, at the same time, you should still stay true to your unique taste. It’s about creating a balance between looking impressive but also showing off whatever it is that defines you. Whether you’re ironic, flashy or artsy, you don’t want to abandon your personal flair and identity.
The easiest way to dress age-appropriately is to combine classic pieces with ones that reflect your personality. Some of these classic items should include timeless fashions like button-up shirts, vests, trousers, chinos, cardigans, and blazers. Then, you can spice things up, leaving room for personal expression with your choices of ties, socks, hats and jewelry.
When you sell yourself as a presentable and cool guy, women will crave a piece of your first-class awesomeness.
Stop loafing on dating sites
Many of you complain about the uselessness of dating sites, but rarely know how to use them properly. For some, there’s the sad strategy of scrolling right like a robot to increase your matching potential and then later sort through your options. Others will thoughtlessly send out the same recycled openers to all of their matches, hoping someone will entertain them. Finally, you might just be bored and wondering if there’s a single lady out there who’ll enjoy wasting her time chatting with you.
If any of these mindsets sound familiar, it’s no surprise your dating schedule is completely open. None of these strategies are winners. Let’s take a glance at some that are.
Stop using dating apps as a boredom killer
First off, if you’re seriously looking to meet some gems, stop treating dating apps like your personal source of entertainment. When you’re bored, and the basketball game doesn’t air for another hour, don’t use a dating app just to kill some time. This careless approach rarely works — unless maybe you’re Sidney Crosby on Bumble. Since women want to be actively pursued, this lazy method will only keep women in your arsenal, but usually, won’t lead to dates.
Keep it real
The key to getting more meets from dating apps is to flirt more meaningfully. Any guy can message a woman with the overused phrase, “hey beautiful” or “wow, you’re gorgeous”, but a compliment based on looks is uninteresting and lame. You won’t get any sparks flying. On the other hand, if you can say something that genuinely shows you appreciated her profile, you’re more likely to get her hooked.
Maybe you read that she’s vegan (god-forbid) or her pictures indicated that she loves dogs. Latch onto one of her unique traits and use that as the starting point for conversation. The chat will be much more engaging, building her curiosity and interest in you. Let the conversation continue naturally over the course of 2-3 days before asking her out– if you take any longer, she’ll write you off as a time-waster.
Sell your profile description
Your profile description is your selling point. Many guys underestimate the value in this feature, but most women pay attention to it. How much effort do you put into describing yourself? The typical profile description includes the usual, run-of-the-mill phrases: “Looking for a fun girl”, “I like sports” or worse, nothing at all.
Women who know they’re catches will not bother investing in conversation with you if you can’t even be bothered to explain why they should. Tell them why!
Track your meat
Many men focus on the high of collecting prospective women, rather than the goal of actually meeting them. When you’re too caught up in the hype of getting a new match, you’re blinded by the conquest and lose sight of the finish line. You’re addicted to the rush of getting matches and less concerned about investing in one of them. Meanwhile, you become less focused on enticing the matches you already have for a date.
Stop trying to be a stud and play monopoly with your matches; let go of your delusions about building an empire of options. You’ll just be left alone with a batch of random possibilities. Does that sound like fun?
You should also be careful about how you multi-task with many women at once. If you have romance ADD, and you’re chatting with several ladies, you’ll probably start mixing up your conversations. Before you know it, you’ll forget which one told you which story, along with many other details, leaving you lost in a mass of dialogue. Or worse, your match may catch your confusion, which is a huge turnoff; women don’t want to feel like they’re being pursued by a brainless womanizer wannabe. By this point, you’ll have removed any steam from your flirtation. Game over.
These strategies are your survival guide to getting more dates. So, stop being a dopey lion chasing antelope, without any proper kill tactics, and instead, tackle your target with a more experienced hunting mindset.
Stay mighty, boys!